


Tag (Because I was stupid then I hit you stupid, get it?)

by EliolovesOliver



Series: SLOWBURN? MORE LIKE SLOWLEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AMMIRITE!?! [6]
Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Nailpolish, Stupidity, Tattoos, Tim literally crying from all the idiocy, but no damian himself what even, ignoring people, jason being dumb, reveal of what damian was plotting, super indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 10:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21097727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliolovesOliver/pseuds/EliolovesOliver
Summary: Everything's a bit much and finally my timkon love is seeping through.





	Tag (Because I was stupid then I hit you stupid, get it?)

Tim scratched at his nails absently while watching Kon and Steph kill each other over and over again. He'd been deemed a cheater and therefore banned from playing unless it was three against one which was currently impossible. 

The teen looked down at his nails where the black and red polish were chipping from his constant fretting. How did girls do it? It felt so annoying, like a heavy weight over his nails, itchy and too smooth at the same time.

"Quit picking at it! Demon and Douch worked really hard on that!" 

Steph glared at him through the TV, he could tell her eyes were on his reflection.

"Yeah, well, it's uncomfortable." Tim argued back looking at the burden he couldn't rid himself of, "And besides, nailpolish isn't really my style."

Steph snorted.

"What, too gay?"

"Tim snorted back.

"No such thing. Nah it's just, I dunno, flashy? I'd prefer a tattoo I think."

"Ooh," the blonde threw her controller down ignoring Kon's complaints. "Can I help you pick one out? Oh my God Timmy, let's get matching tattoos! Ahh! This is gonna be so much fun!"

Tim flinched back.

"What the fuck Steph? No, I didn't say I was getting a tattoo, just that I'd prefer one to nailpolish."

"So like, I was thinking dolphins or, oh, how about hearts?!"

The purple loving maniac screeched after her amazing idea.

"Or better yet, hows about I be one half of the heart and you be the otherohmygoshthisisgonnabesograettimmybestiesforlife HELL YEAH!"

Tim and Kon shared a look over the blondes head as she continued her inane screaming.

Kon opened his mouth and promptly began choking on air.

Tim sighed as he stood to help the other male who had since keeled over on the ground.

How did he always attract crazies?

\----------------------------

"Tim." Jason looked nervous as he took deep breaths, glancing around Tim's room as if expecting Bruce to magically emerge from the dark corners or some shit.

Tim groaned before snapping a moody "What?" at his older brother.

"I think- I think I know what Damian is up to."

Tim continued looking at his brother, raising an eyebrow when it became clear the older male was looking for a sign to continue.

"I'm pretty sure Damian is gonna sacrifice Jon to his lord and saviour, Beelzebub Lucifer Satan."

Tim sighed through his nose and put his head in his hands.

Those all meant the same thing.

What even?

Tim started sobbing at the ridiculousness of his life, ignoring Jay hugging him from behind.

"There, there, I know it's heartbreaking but our baby brother is a witch."

Tim's sobbing increased.

\----------------------------

"Hey Timmy, have you seen Jay?"

"No, Dick."

Tim had been avoiding the moron since... Tim had been avoiding the moron.

\----------------------------

"...and it's just like, so messed up, you know? Like, what kind of family is this even?"

Tim poked at his salad as he listened to Tam complain about her fathers overprotective streak.

"I had to tell the exact address just to come here, not to mention my dad's probably tracking my phone as we speak! My family is completely insane!"

Tim stuck a cucumber slice into his mouth and stared Tam dead in the eyes. 

"Sorry, I just, had to get that off my chest."

"That's okay, what are friends for?"

Tam chuckled a bit.

"So, what's new with you?" 

Tim blinked and proceeded to ignore the horrible flashbacks that question induced.

"Oh not much. Just the usual."

\----------------------------

"...andthenwehadicecreamandafterKonandmesnuckintothemoviesandwatchedineforfreethenboughtpopcornwhenweleftsowecouldeatitontheridehomethenIthrewupandKonfreakedout..."

Tim tuned Bart out to play on his phone after that.

\----------------------------

Fuck, was the younger still going?

"...soIjustwantedtosay," The boy breathed I before continuing, "thank you, and that you make an adorable couple and I love you both. You're the best parents ever."

Tim blinked as Bart wrapped his arms around him.

"...what?"

\----------------------------

Cassie glanced at Tim as she daintily ate her yogurt (if only because they were in public).

"Kon's pretty hot."

Tim turned to stare at her with his spoon still in his mouth.

"Yeah, and?"

Cassie pushed her yogurt to the side so she could place her elbow on the table and place her head and her hand.

"You gonna tap that or...?"

\----------------------------

"I like you Tim."

Tim stiffened and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the preteen before him.

"I like you too Jon."

The kid was smiling at him all sugary and manipulative and damn if it wasn't working (the kid hadn't even asked for anything yet!), but Tim held strong, intimately familiar with the art of (emotional, mental, physical, psychological, personality...) manipulation.

"I was just wondering Timmy- can I call you Timmy?- anyway I was just wondering if you'd just do one small thing for me Mr. Uncle Timmy sir,"

Tim's frown deepened as the kid easily navigated his way around diversion tactics he had seen Dick and Jay utilise for years. Was this Damians doing? The brat couldn't use them himself considering his body physically refused to be friendly (or nice or adorable or...), but it stood to reason he could train the youngest Kent to surpass him in that regard.

"Would you just give me your autograph Mr. Timmy sir?"

Tim blinked at the notepad that had been thrust into his hands. He looked into Jons earnest eyes and bubbly smile and just sighed as he signed the notepad, hard enough to make copying his signature easy for the little brats.

What? Tim new this trick, he'd used it on Bruce multiple times, albeit with far more subtly.

\----------------------------

And that's the story of how Damian Wayne acquired his dear Perseus, the pony from hell.


End file.
